Happy birthday, Jeff Goldblum!
Posts about how bothering a grieving celebrity that you know is grieving and having them be nice to you make the celebrity look good but make you look like an asshole. I’m not even sorry. But why would you bother someone with your fan bullshit when you know they’re going through a hard time just to say you’ve met them? Jfc.
Also i’m trying to sleep and people keep opening and closing doors in the house. I am 500 years old and i need to go to work tomorrow
Idk why im in headed for a meltdown mode lately. I probs just need a week to live in a box where no one can find me. But i hate this shit cause i know it’s irrational and illogical. I feel like i meta live through everything though. Like shouldnt i just sit around and cry and be like “blah why am i so SAD? Bleh bleh bleh poor me” instead i’m like oh it seems depression has come back to me, oh well. Can’t stop, won’t stop. I just feel emotionless yet scared and extra grumpy. Like little things make me more angry than usual.
Like idk. I probs need to talk to someone. I have a lot of unresolved issues when it comes to the way my life was from age 8 to 23. A lot of bad shit happened and i should just admit i’m damaged from it. I actually totally do. But i will probs never seek help cause i’m too fucking stubborn. Also i dont feel i have the time to seek help cause i have a job and bills and need ample time to be alone and sleep and do what i want. YEAH IT WOULD BE LIKE AN HOUR A WEEK BUT THAT IS AN HOUR I DONT WANT TO GIVE TO SOMEONE.
Idk i still blame this on all the beatings from friends lol thanks friends thanks for beating me up all the fucking time :D and then all the weird sexual abuse as an adult ish thing HEY THANKS GUYS. thanks a lot for all that. I really needed all that after getting beaten up by friends as a kid. And made fun of by so called friends. And used as a sex object. All of that was great for all of these problems now.
Like my life was a shamble fest until my last year of college when i decided to finally take back my life. 23 and 24 were good ages. Bad things happened but at least i had a better mind about things. I got more ruthless than ever imagined but in a better way than the damaged kid who fights back. I became some badass who tells people to fuck off forever instead of being like “i hate you but i’m keeping you around cause i’d feel bad to tell you to fuck off and die”
This was long and made no sense but
TL;DR: depressed, tired of being depressed but too manly and busy to seek help. A lot of bad shit happened to me.